Is This The Life I’m Meant To Live?

Maybe I'm running insane.
Maybe I’m running insane.

Sometimes I feel like the life I’m living is a complete breakdown nonetheless there comes a moment or two I cherish being extant. At times I come into asking myself ridiculous questions. “What If my mother did not give birth to me? Could I have been born somewhere else or could there be no me? When precisely I’m I going to bid farewell to this planet and if that day comes, will I be given even just a second to observe the response of the mourners? Who is going to ‘blubber’ the most and who is going to weep the least? How will my spouse/girlfriend retort? Will she attempt to jump into my grave to start the voyage with me? Seems like I’m running insane, aren’t I?” All these inane questions will for a time ring in my skull. I will even giggle loud at myself at sometime.
“One day I’m going to be that gentleman I’ve been dreaming all these days. Will I be Bill Gates? Obama? No! I want to be that hotel boss I’ve been nostalgic about all day long! But still I can make those punch lines, why can’t I make it in front of that mass? No, I feel like I can make it in front of the cameras and do the news briefing. Yeah! They call it broadcasting! I want the masses to see my face and heed my accent day after day! Should I carry on with my freelancing and blogging? This online kind of obsession? I tried it and I can see a destiny out of it! But I need adequate time out too! So what do I do? What do I opt to? Perhaps not a hint! But I have to make to all those dreams a kind of integrity. So where do I start?” All these will also sphere in my skull. I will even giggle loud at myself at sometime.
So is this life doing justice to me? Predicaments all day long. Dilemma 24, 7,365 so that I feel like I need a bit of psychoanalysis. I’m the only piece they are looking up on. I’m the only piece they have their eyes on. Some look upon me for role modeling but do I make the grade? I’m I underrating myself? This is the hub of my living after such a hike. Nemesis, Isn’t it? Hey guys, poke into this and tell me something!

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